It's hard... It's hard to be placed on a scale with another girl. I don't like being compared with someone. I don't like trying to prove myself to anyone. Day by day, it feels like I've been doing just that. Looking at people square in the face has become a burden. For a while now, I thought I mastered that, but I was wrong. I feel so inferior in front of their eyes. I feel out of place even if I supposedly have a place.
I'm not beautiful. I do not have flawless and radiant skin. I have dark skin. I have blemishes. My body is not lust-worthy. I am thin and lampa. Boys don't even care to give me a glance.
I'm not smart. Maybe people think I am, but I'm just an average student. My number of medals and certificates are minimal. AND my parents don't bribe teachers and the administration to get me in the honors' class or to let me get a medal at graduation. I may fail exams or fail to give the right answer in a recitation, but I do not cheat.
I am not responsible. I cram. I'm lazy. I'm not grade conscious. I am not Ms. (insert school here) University material.
I'm not talented. I can't carry a tune. I have two left feet. I'm not a fast learner. I lack creative juices. I'm not much, but...
I am a writer, an average but decent one. Though my course won't provide me with a huge salary and a professional license, it is what I want and it is a path for a noble job. Someday, I'll be putting my life on the line because of my passion and I believe that's something great. I willbe somebody someday. Writing, heart, and dreams may be all I have to boast about, but at least I'm true.
I know I'm plain. I know I'm average. You don't need to rub it in. You don't need to tell me that the love of my life isn't for me... that he and I don't match. You don't have to remind me about those other girls. You don't need to make me stay up every night, thinking and crying about my insecurities. I'm not her. I'm not THEM.
I'm just Jemm. I hope you'll learn to let me (us) be happy, too.
I'm not beautiful. I do not have flawless and radiant skin. I have dark skin. I have blemishes. My body is not lust-worthy. I am thin and lampa. Boys don't even care to give me a glance.
I'm not smart. Maybe people think I am, but I'm just an average student. My number of medals and certificates are minimal. AND my parents don't bribe teachers and the administration to get me in the honors' class or to let me get a medal at graduation. I may fail exams or fail to give the right answer in a recitation, but I do not cheat.
I am not responsible. I cram. I'm lazy. I'm not grade conscious. I am not Ms. (insert school here) University material.
I'm not talented. I can't carry a tune. I have two left feet. I'm not a fast learner. I lack creative juices. I'm not much, but...
I am a writer, an average but decent one. Though my course won't provide me with a huge salary and a professional license, it is what I want and it is a path for a noble job. Someday, I'll be putting my life on the line because of my passion and I believe that's something great. I willbe somebody someday. Writing, heart, and dreams may be all I have to boast about, but at least I'm true.
I know I'm plain. I know I'm average. You don't need to rub it in. You don't need to tell me that the love of my life isn't for me... that he and I don't match. You don't have to remind me about those other girls. You don't need to make me stay up every night, thinking and crying about my insecurities. I'm not her. I'm not THEM.
I'm just Jemm. I hope you'll learn to let me (us) be happy, too.
